Furry mouse balls

I was caught in the corridor today, "I need a new mouse. Mine doesn't work."

"Have you cleaned it?"

"Of course I have. I need it replaced."

This is a common problem at GBU. Desk cleanliness is somewhat "dorm" style and cleaning does not seem to be a skill they learn easily. I followed the fee earner back to his room and began the usual drill:

1. Does he have tissues in the room (since I'm damned if I'm sticking an unprotected finger into someone's mouse)? Check - roll of kitchen towels on shelf.
2. Flip mouse onto left palm with ball side up.
3. Unscrew ball retaining thingy.
4. Pour ball retaining thingy and mouse ball into right palm.
5. Put ball retaining thingy and mouse ball down on table ... hold on ... there was something odd about this ball.

I put the mouse shell down, held the ball between my thumb and finger, and raised it to my face as those in horror movies always do.

The ball had something growing on it.

Professionalism dictated that I could not wretch in the fee earner's room, so I told him I'd be back and walked out. I walked straight to the toilets and washed my hands and (since I still had it) the ball under the hotest, soapiest water I could bear.